HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied and The Fear I Have Been Living With

HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied and The Fear I Have Been Living With

HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON

 The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied
and
The Fear I Have Been Living With

For the past few years I have been faced with a very painful bullying situation.

I became acutely aware what was going on back in November, 2017, but looking back, this bullying campaign actually started in January, 2017, and others confirm that it really did began way back then.

I kept hoping that things would change. Maybe this adult bully will find another target – I’m not their first target, or maybe they’d simply move on to others things.

Almost every week I get a painful reminder that this campaign is ongoing, and sadly I have friends and colleagues who themselves have had less than pleasant experiences as a result simply because they are my friends or colleagues.

Just yesterday a dear friend of mine was bullied due to this campaign.

I am purposely being vague.

I have no interest in being divisive or hurtful or causing others to feel like they need to choose between myself and this other person.

 

HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied and The Fear I Have Been Living With

Sharing my Story –  In Spite of the Fear

That being said – I am no longer ok with at not acknowledging this painful part of my recent journey. This is the first time I have publicly acknowledged my ordeal. Of course – even saying this much is terrifying.

This bully has made it clear that’s NOT ok for me say to anything, and as many of you know, bullies absolutely HATE it when people stand up to them.

I am quite concerned what this person will do or say next, however I have lived with that fear for a long time – at least now if my honesty and openness about this painful experience results in retaliation – it will be clear to some what’s really going on.

Yes – I did block this person on Facebook etc, quite a long time ago. And yes I have actual proof that I did so.

Early on I shared this fact with someone who absolutely did not believe me and they strongly suggested I was lying about blocking this individual because they had been told that I was using social media to harass this person.

If I had really blocked this bully on Facebook, then what they had been told was not true and they found this detail I shared to be understandably upsetting and confusing.

I have many such details that very much vindicate me. If needed – I will someday share them.

Thankfully – I have friends who are aware of at least some of these details and that fact makes it easy for them to stand by me, even when they were told by this divisive bully that they had to turn their backs on me and end their relationships with me.

It is somewhat comforting, and somewhat terrifying; to know that this is NOT the first time this bully has demanded people turn their back on someone they were friends with. NOR is this the first time this bully has then gone on to punish those who didn’t abandon a close friend as the bully ordered.

Being Vulnerable is Not Fun 

Sharing all of this feels very vulnerable and scary , especially  this next part.

 

HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied and The Fear I Have Been Living With

Fearing For My Safety 

This has experience has been very tough for me. For example, I’m not privy to all that this person has said and still says about me – however earlier last year in a two-week span I had more than one friend reach out to me because they were very concerned for my physical well being.

During those two-weeks I was told by more than one person that they were very afraid that what this person was saying about me at that time was going to get me attacked physically. Those were scary days and I purposely laid low. To this day I’m still on high alert when out in public.

Living in fear is no way to live and I this year I have begun to be out in public more and I will continue to do so. Living my life and attending and enjoying public events that I cherish is still quite scary for me, but I can’t give into the hate.

I turn 50 this year and at the beginning of the year I made a commitment to make my 2019 epic. Peacefully and wisely facing this painful situation, in spite of my fear, is one of my paths to epic.

I would be remiss not to acknowledge the fact I that have learned much through this experience.

I will mention four of the things I have learned much more about: Grieving, Forgiveness, Shame, and Encouragement.

HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied and The Fear I Have Been Living With

Grieving

I have learned much about grieving since my 17-year-old son Zayne Steven Shomler passed away on Feb 8, 2016 and this painful experience has taught me much about grieving as well.

One of the most painful things about this experience has been having a handful of people who I thought were friends – people I had served and cared for – turn their back on me without even talking to me.

I have come to realize that these people were not really friends – friends would have at least a conversation with you to get your side of the story.

Still I cherished those relationships and I had to grieve losing them.

Attending certain public events and having those people – people who I still care about to this day – glare at me, and look at me hatefully is so difficult. And in some cases they’re rude to me and to my fiancé, which is extra painful.

As I am sure so of you know – It’s hard to grieve hurt that’s ongoing.

HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied and The Fear I Have Been Living With

Forgiveness

I have had to work on that spiritual discipline as well, and I have learned much more about forgiveness over the past few years that I ever have before.

Like grieving, it is hard to forgive when the hurt is ongoing. It is also very difficult to forgive when the hurt feel so unjust.

HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied and The Fear I Have Been Living With

Shame

I am a survivor of sexual abuse and spent a number of years in my 20s in therapy beginning a long and ongoing journey healing from that abuse.

My abuser blamed me for what they did and told me what was happening was my fault. For years I carried a tremendous amount of shame about what I went through.

I’ve journaled a lot about shame over the past years; those of you who have endured the hell that is sexual abuse know what I am talking about.

This recent painful experience I have been referring to here has brought up many old issues related to shame. For example, once again I am being told this awful thing that is happening is my fault.

Shame is so debilitating and beyond awful.

Going somewhat public about this painful part of my journey is one of the ways I’m standing up for myself and saying that I will not live under the oppressive cloak of shame.

 

HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied and The Fear I Have Been Living With 

Encouragement

 Haters really are gonna hate and they are going to keep on hating – sadly it’s what they do.

This experience has driven home for me how much people need encouragement.

What’s that old adage? “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

There is a better way to live – rather than tearing others down and being hateful and critical of others – it is sooo much better to cheer others on.

This painful experience has greatly deepened my appreciation for, and commitment to the practice of encouragement.

I for one – will not walk the path of hate and criticism. I am going to continue to cheer others on.

I am so grateful for those who have been aware of this situation and who have stood by me in both small and big ways, even when they have been “punished” and sometimes even threatened for doing so.

In closing my heart goes out to those of you who have experienced the tyranny of an adult bully, I know how painful it is.

Many thanks to the men and women familiar with this situation who read over a rough draft of this article and gave me wisdom and much appreciated feedback.

Lastly – to my sweetheart and fiancé – thank you for being my rock, and for the comfort, wisdom, and encouragement you have blessed me with.

Steven

#HatersGonnaHate    or   #CheerOthersOn

#Hate   or   #Encouragement

#YouGetToChoose

 

HATERS GONNA HATE – CHEER OTHERS ON The Immense Heartache of Being Bullied and The Fear I Have Been Living With

 

 

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Gluten-Free Greatness! Evasion Brewing + The Portland Press Food Cart

Gluten-Free Greatness! Evasion Brewing + The Portland Press Food Cart

Gluten-Free Greatness! Evasion Brewing + The Portland Press Food Cart

Saturday Feb 9th from Noon to 5 PM The Gluten Free Greatness event presented by Steven Shomler is happening at the Piknik Park Food Cart located at 1112 SE Tacoma St Portland, Oregon.

During this event you will be able to enjoy Great Gluten-Free Food from The Portland Press Food Cart, and the Dive Bar Beer Cart will be pouring Great Gluten-Free Beer from Evasion Brewing.

To RSVP to this event see this link here – www.facebook.com/events/945488972315061

To find out more about The Portland Press Food Cart see this Culinary Treasure article here – https://www.culinarytreasure.com/two-brothers-making-portland-waffle-magic-happen/

To find out more about Evasion Brewing see this Portland Beer Podcast episode here – https://www.portlandbeerpodcast.com/ben-acord-evasion-brewing-portland-beer-podcast-episode-74-from-the-archives/

Stay tuned for more details coming soon!

 

Gluten-Free Greatness! Evasion Brewing + The Portland Press Food Cart

Posted in Beer, Beer Event, Craft Beer, Craft Beer Event, Culinary Event, Food, Food Carts, Portland Culinary Event, Special Event | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Biscuits + Gravy + Beer Brunch Pop-Up at Final Draft Taphouse

Biscuits + Gravy + Beer Brunch Pop-Up at Final Draft Taphouse

Biscuits + Gravy + Beer Brunch Pop-Up at Final Draft Taphouse

Sunday Jan 27th at 11 AM the Biscuits + Gravy + Beer Brunch Pop-Up presented by Steven Shomler is happening at the Final Draft Taphouse located at 11504 SE Mill Plain Blvd Suite C Vancouver, Washington 98684

During this event you get to enjoy the food from two beloved Vancouver culinary brands – Twisted Biscuits and the Stanwich Food Truck.

Mike at the Final Draft Taphouse is putting together a very special tap list for this brunch, and Kafiex Roasters will on hand as serving their fantastic coffee!

Please Note – There are only 24 Tickets available for this event.

Tickets cost $20 each and can be purchased at Final Draft Taphouse.

The Menu

The Menu for this brunch is:

A Twisted Biscuits Sour Cream & Chive Biscuit, covered in Stanwich Wild Rue Sausage Gravy, topped with a fried egg, and accompanied by two strips of bacon.

Diners will also enjoy one beer from the special Biscuits + Gravy + Beer Bruch Pop-Up tap List, a cup of Kafiex Roasters, and a Twisted Biscuits Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Biscuit Bite!

The Chefs cooking for you during this event will be Stan from Stanwich, and Nichole from Twisted Biscuits.

Get your ticket right away, as this event will sell out quickly!

Tickets are $20 and can be purchased at the Final Draft Taphouse.

 

 

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Taco Meet Aquavit – An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event

Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler

Taco Meet Aquavit!

Wednesday evening November 7th from 6 PM – 9 PM I will be hosting Taco Meet Aquavit – an official Aquavit Week event happening at Stella Taco Division – www.facebook.com/Stella-Taco-Division-357945638282758

To RSVP

See this link here it RSVP for Taco Meet Aquavit – www.facebook.com/events/538734296592242

Taco Meet Aquavit Tasting Plate

During this event you be able to purchase a special $5.00 Taco Meet Aquavit Tasting Plate that will feature three different El Paso style Taco Bites and each of those three bites will be paired with an Aquavit from Rolling River Spirits.

Three Taco Bites Video by Matt Fields Stella Taco

Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler

Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler

The Three Aquavits Featured With the Three Taco Bites

OLE BJØRKEVOLL AQUAVIT – A Portland twist on a Scandinavian classic. Caraway, dill and fennel combine for a lightly spicy, smooth and savory finish.

OLD GOAT TAFFEL – A simple lightly flavored Aquavit with Caraway, star anise, orange peel and hops

BROWN BEAR – Traditional flavored aquavit, Caraway, Orange and lemon peel, Hops, Aged in used rye whiskey barrels.

Not only will you be able to savor this special Taco Meet Aquavit Tasting Plate, you will also be able to revel in an aquavit cocktail specially created for the 2018 edition of Aquavit Week!

Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler

The Chilly Pepper Aquavit Margarita

During the entirety of Aquavit Week – November 4th through November 10th – Stella Taco Division will be serving the Chilly Pepper Aquavit Margarita!

As mentioned above, this innovative cocktail was created especially for the 2018 edition of Aquavit Week and it has a delightful balance of aquavit’s botanical notes & Mexico’s habanero heat, with mango, grapefruit, orange, lemon, and lime juices adding a tropical flare.

The Chilly Pepper Aquavit Margarita by Natalie Hayward 

Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler

Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler  Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler

Meet The Chef and The Distiller!

During Taco Meet Aquavit you will be able to meet Matt Fields the Head Chef at Stella Taco and Rick Rickard with Rolling River Spirits!

For more information about Matt and Rick you can check out their respective Portland Culinary Podcast episodes here:

Rick Rickard Rolling River Spirits – Portland Culinary Podcast Episode 33 www.portlandculinarypodcast.com/rick-rickard-rolling-river-spirits-portland-culinary-podcast-episode-33

Matt Fields Stella Taco – Portland Culinary Podcast Episode 31 www.portlandculinarypodcast.com/matt-fields-stella-taco-portland-culinary-podcast-episode-31

Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler

Stella Taco Division Address

Stella Taco Division is located at 3060 SE Division St,Portland, Oregon 97202!

I hope to see you Wednesday evening November 7th!

Cheers,

Steven

#TacoMeetAquavit

#AquavitWeek

Taco Meet Aquavit - An Official 2018 Aquavit Week Event hosted by Steven Shomler

Posted in Cocktails, Culinary Event, Portland Cocktail Event, Portland Culinary Event, Special Event | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment